Time for a little honesty…
I’ve been slacking on the school stuff lately. By default, we seem to have taken a two-week long Spring Break. I’m not sure what that will do to our finishing date; I’ve got to sit down and run the numbers on it. What I really need to do is make out a schedule to ensure that we are done sometime before mid-July.
My motivation has been missing lately. Before our break, we were getting our work done, but it was a struggle everyday. It wasn’t for lack of having everything scheduled. Sonlight has everything all written out for you. The kids know what work they are supposed to do in their individual work (one page of this, two pages of that, etc). What it really was was laziness. I was being lazy, wanting to spend my time on the computer. They were being lazy, wanting to spend their time in front of the TV (following my lead, obviously). I find myself in a funk these days. No motivation to do much of anything, not just school. I waste time on the computer all morning long, and then rush to get all the other house stuff done in the afternoon, leaving little time for kid-centered activities. Leaving little time for anything really, except the minimum life requires.
To be honest, I’ve been very selfish. Too much thinking about my emotional/spiritual life has caused me to shut down in other areas. I’m not sure what to do about this, except pray. Pray for balance. Pray for strength. Pray for selflessness. Pray for a servants heart.
My life should be my kids, my husband, my home. Not Facebook, and Ravelry, and the Diaper Pin. I’ve really been slacking these last few months.
I have an amazing opportunity here. My kids are with me all day long. I have a chance to show them what a real adult is like, what they should be striving for as they grow up. I should be showing them how to love Good, how to be responsible, busy, industrious, kind, loving, patient, healthy, etc, etc, etc. Instead, all they see is that when you grow up you get to sit on the computer all day, eat crappy junk food, and boss your kids around while not doing much yourself.
What am I thinking?! Something has to change. It’s time to get off my butt and get my life, my house, my family on track.
Sorry to get off track. I started talking about homeschooling, but got distracted along the way. Guess I just needed to get it all written down, so I couldn’t deny it to myself anymore.
So now what? Now it’s time to put the computer to sleep and get on with my life!